Luxury of the Beach

Today is an overcast day at the beach. The sun peaks through a bit every once in a while but for a change I prefer the clouds.

I have been completely uninspired for a while. I did not want to use my creative blog a diary but for now I would have nothing else to write about. There is so much stress in our life that sometimes even knitting does not inspire me.

All the stresses in our life are right here right now. About a month ago Gary began being unable to walk on his own. We thought it was the meds he was on but now we know that is not it. They have scanned him from head to toe and haven't found anything. These mystery illnesses are harder to take than what ever known problem is thrown at us. On top of that I go in for surgery to have the tumor removed from my breast next Tuesday. We are both disappointed that Gary can not be my primary caretaker. I am completely burnt out from being my usual way too independent self and trying to everything for both of us. Today is a wonderful day sitting here next to my napping husband while I stare at the ocean.

I fantasize lately about two days at a Spa but for now that is not possible it is just a good fantasy. My perfectionism is improving as once upon a time I would have made myself create to have something to prove that I was okay. The best thing I can creative right now is gentle self care and getting the right help for both of us. What I need right now is a small piece of support from each of our friends and family.

Think of me next Tuesday while I am under the knife and hopefully all will turn out well so I will once again have inspiration to create.

Fall Sweaters

I love summer weather but winter clothes. I just finished this jacket and the weather appears to be moving in the direction of being able to actually wear it. The color in the photo came pretty close to the actual color which is in between a periwinkle blue and lavender. I have a great pair of gold Dolce & Gabbanna pants (in my wardrobe forever) athat have a small amount of this color in it. Gary and I might have to venture out of the house for more than a Doctor's visit soon.

Things continue to be hairy in our medical world. After a grueling week of waiting, I have an appointment with a Surgeon tomorrow about a biopsy. The only thing that hasn't made the wait seem long and slow is my husband's ongoing saga. This week-end was the closest I have come to losing it but today things are better and the new chemo is working as evidenced by the outside tumors showing major shrinkage. Soon we will see the insides again but the Oncologist has assured us the chemo is working on the inside as well.

Today we are having a luxurious, lazy day on the bed with our two equally lazy cats. Food in the fridge so no need to get out of our PJ's. We love the calm after what has been a long bumpy ride.

As everyone else is napping I am taking a break from my knitting to write. Not too much to write about but it feels nice to check in. Hope all of our friends and family are also enjoying a wonderful day.