I have been completely uninspired for a while. I did not want to use my creative blog a diary but for now I would have nothing else to write about. There is so much stress in our life that sometimes even knitting does not inspire me.
All the stresses in our life are right here right now. About a month ago Gary began being unable to walk on his own. We thought it was the meds he was on but now we know that is not it. They have scanned him from head to toe and haven't found anything. These mystery illnesses are harder to take than what ever known problem is thrown at us. On top of that I go in for surgery to have the tumor removed from my breast next Tuesday. We are both disappointed that Gary can not be my primary caretaker. I am completely burnt out from being my usual way too independent self and trying to everything for both of us. Today is a wonderful day sitting here next to my napping husband while I stare at the ocean.
I fantasize lately about two days at a Spa but for now that is not possible it is just a good fantasy. My perfectionism is improving as once upon a time I would have made myself create to have something to prove that I was okay. The best thing I can creative right now is gentle self care and getting the right help for both of us. What I need right now is a small piece of support from each of our friends and family.
Think of me next Tuesday while I am under the knife and hopefully all will turn out well so I will once again have inspiration to create.
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